How To Be Happy – Busting the Happiness Myths

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Recently I read an article on, in a nutshell, how to be happy. In that article, the spiritual teacher states that she has found that many people in her circle who have been following the “path” have been in fact experiencing a lot of the opposite; for example, serious health problems or incidents of what they’ve determined they do NOT want in their life–even though they’ve done a lot of spiritual practice, intending and positive visualization.

The teacher then states that this negativity usually means that you’re very close to manifesting what you DO want. It’s just that you need to “claim this change,” to “return what you did not order” and to demand what you have “ordered on your plate.” She goes on to say that you just need to be certain of what you want and get back to imagining what you desire and “prepare yourself to receive.” I left out the name of the teacher because it really doesn’t matter; almost all of them are saying the same thing.

I am so tired of this regurgitated nonsense. I thought we have learned some things since the book, The Secret, came out several years ago. Apparently, not a whole lot.

Do you get happy by lying in bed and visualizing your happiness? Do you get what you want by visualizing in your mind and “returning to the Universe what you do not want?” Haven’t lightworkers been trying these techniques for years now, without a whole lot of success?

I’ll tell you how to get happy. It’s really not that complicated. You will get happy when you connect with your higher self / soul / true self (sometimes referred to as your “heart”) and follow through with your “heart’s” guidance. You will get happy when you align with your higher self. In other words, you will get happy when you stop betraying yourself. How can you be happy when you’re constantly going against your heart? Every time you ignore your inner guidance, your subtle inner feelings, you’re betraying yourself. No wonder you’re not getting what you want and you’re not happy about it.

You can try to fill the holes in your “heart” by worldly things such as going shopping or going to fancy lunches with your girlfriends or going drinking with your buddies. But you’ll find the hole only gets bigger the more you try to fill it with those empty distractions.

I remember feeling this hole in my heart about a decade ago. I tried to fill it by going shopping or by going to lunch with fun girlfriends. But my higher self wasn’t easily fooled. I felt the hole got bigger the more I did those “outer world” things. So I stopped doing them and embarked on a different path. I connected with my higher self and worked on fulfilling my higher purpose. (Well, I got pushed in that direction by other means, too.)

I wrote about this experience in my memoir, What Everyone Believed: A Memoir of Intuition and Awakening. I wrote about how once I got into doing my higher purpose (following my heart, which means following through with the inner guidance I receive), I turned down lunch offers with girlfriends and spent the time alone, writing. (For me to do this was amazing, since what I was writing about at that point was actually quite painful. But I was truly having a blast.)

In fact, a friend of mine got a bit insulted when she read that part of my manuscript. I explained to her that it wasn’t that I wasn’t valuing her or her time, for I truly love and value her. It’s just that what I needed to do at that time was write–while the creativity and writing was flowing.

The steps for how to be happy or how to get what you want are really the same: reconnect with your higher self and integrate (align) with your higher self by following through with your inner guidance so that you fulfill what you came here for: your higher purpose, your unique contribution to the Golden Age. It really is that simple. (It’s just not that easy, but most everything worth having takes some effort, no?)

To discover the steps for reconnecting and integrating with your higher self, check out my how-to eBook by clicking on the link below:

Activating 2012:  A Practical Guide for Navigating 2012 with Confidence and Clarity

 

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15 Comments

  1. Suzy said:

    I really appreciate this post and your bravery because you are calling all of us to be authentic. You are asking us to follow our own guidance, not generic advice that doesn’t honor what each person endures on their path. I love what you say about betraying ourselves by not following our “hearts.” It’s all within always.

    Thank you for your work and for getting the word out there. I feel these times are calling each of us to share what is most authentic, not what a teacher has told us. We are “teachers”, each one of us, and personally, when I “remembered” my Higher Self several years ago, I became my own teacher. Everything changed, and authentic magic became ever-present. With gratitude ~Suzy

    October 17, 2012
    • Thanks Suzy for your wonderful comment!

      The following advice is general, but it pertains to all of us: Connect with your higher self and follow through with your own inner guidance so that you fulfill your higher purpose.

      What makes it unique / individualized though is that each one of us will get unique / individual inner guidance from our own higher self that will help us fulfill our unique contribution.

      It’s true as you state that when you reconnect with your higher self and follow through with your inner guidance, you become your own (best) teacher. (I remember writing that point in my memoir published 2008…) Christine

      October 22, 2012
  2. Cedric said:

    My personal opinion about happiness. I find that the more accepting I am of people and things, the happier I am. I find that staying detached and not labeling helps me to stay aligned with my higher self and detached from my ego self. I dont see right or wrong. I tend to only see things for what they are. Through years of questioning , I have come to realise that most of my suffering, or sadness was as a result of my thinking. It really is true.

    October 18, 2012
    • Thanks for your comment Cedric. You’re right that when you reconnect with your higher self and follow through with your own inner guidance over time you attain a certain level of understanding about the process of life that helps you to automatically become less “attached” to the outcome (you’re less worried) and also you don’t view things as “right” or “wrong” much anymore–which reduces the amount of suffering you experience. Also, you don’t get so emotional about things anymore. It’s still important to communicate one’s ideas, yes, but the ideas don’t have you, you have THEM.

      This is why I do the work I do… Christine

      October 22, 2012
  3. Silke said:

    Dear Christine,

    I have read your arrticle with interest, I have also read you Ebook. Just a few comments. I know that these days many people are looking for ways to become happy, enlightened, richer, more peacefull and all else they want and feel importnat to have/become. Hence the number of spiritual and “How to ” books has spiralled and everybody claims they KNOW the WAY – so do you. I do agree with you that there is a lot of nonsense out there but I do not claim that MY way should be everybody’s way and that only I KNOW the path. Many ways lead to Rome and this also applies to spiritual enlightement. Some peopele find “themselves” or their “Higher Self” as you call it by meditating, others by walking in nature and others by painting…they then automatically connect with their higher selfs as they follow their passion, no need to follow certain procedures even if you had to. Passion about something is usually a clear sign that one is in touch with one’s soul, life path or Higher Self. We all decide before we come into this life what we would like to achieve and by which means – whether we follow this intended path in our respective life depends on our free will. Our Higher Self or Soul usually give us certain signs as to whether we walk along the path we are meant to. So each and all of us have a different path and a different way of finding it. Yours may have worked well for YOURSELF and some OTHERS but maybe not for everbody. So it is a waste of negative energy to get annoyed if somebody spreads what looks like nonesense in your eyes. If you got irritated every time that someboyd did or said someting that YOU thought was wrong then you would end up feeling very unhappy. So the point I am trying to make is that it is not wrong to speak ones truth but it is rather unhealthy to feel that everybody should agree, What feels like truth to you today may feel invalid or wrong tomorrow. And anyway the saying “The teacher comes along when the pupil is ready” means that whatever comes your way is meant to come you way – sometimes “certain untruths have to be spread to give people the opportunity to try them out and find out for themselves that those truths do not work for them. Personally I am not a great friend of rules , i.e. of “how to”.. steps to… or “you need to do such and such in order to attain or become such and such … ” but if it works for somebody then this is good for them.

    In my opinion the main thing in life is that we follow our OWN path and not somebody elses and to accept all that comes our way and try to make the best of any challenge it in order to feel as much haappiness as possible in any kind of situation – and life is togh sometimes, no need to say this.

    All the best to you and kind wishes from southern Germany -I guess this is where your ancestors came from 🙂
    Silke

    October 18, 2012
    • Thanks Silke for your comment!

      I’ll repeat what I wrote to Suzy who also commented on this post:

      The following advice is general and pertains to all of us: Connect with your higher self and follow through with your own inner guidance so that you fulfill your higher purpose.

      What makes the path unique / individualized though is that each one of us will get unique and individual inner guidance from our own higher self that will help us fulfill our unique contribution.

      There are different ways to connect as you say, being in nature, meditating, martial arts, movement, etc. but each one of those ways (just like how you meditate) has varying degrees of effectiveness when it comes to actually connecting with one’s HIGHER SELF. The meditation (and the process) I share happens to be very effective for connecting with one’s higher self and in fact, the meditation was described by the Counsel of Light as a “shot in the arm” for connecting within. (They shared it with me, in a channeling through a medium.)

      You’re right that it’s not wrong to speak one’s truth, that it’s actually RIGHT to speak one’s truth–which is why I have this blog. And I do agree that some people need to learn the longer, harder way–they may discover something very important in the process.

      Where I can help is when people are experiencing major questions about their life purpose or are in crisis; when they’re experiencing deep issues that don’t get answered simply by painting or walking in the woods. That’s when my story and my experiences can help.

      By the way, my parents are both from south eastern Poland near the Ukrainian border–where I was born. Hoeflich is my married name. (I lived in Muenchen for 2.5 years and LOVE Bayern.)

      October 22, 2012
  4. Silke said:

    …just one last comment – what about the mentally handicapped? They will never be able to grasp your concept of the Higher Self and it’s importance in awakening leave alone to do the steps required…So I guess they will not get the opportunity to be part of the Golden Age if awakening your Higher Self is the condition on which one passes through the “gateway”. And this is exactly why I think your assumptions may be incorrect as these peole have chosen a life where they can experience a mental handicap and all that it brings with it. To be honest most of my friends who are not interested in spirituality but are great people will never come in contact with your ideas – so I guess they will also not be part of the Golden Age or will not awaken. Think about this for a while. Should the Golden Age and all it’s Goodies that we are promised only be the “Paradise” of a small minority who do as told? I don’t think so. I believe we are all in the process of becoming – of becoming our true selves but we are all at different stages and therefore need and want to do different things. Some of us are old souls and we tend to be interested in spiritual subjects. In contrast young souls have different objectives in life but that does not mean they are worth less than old souls even if they may talk “nonsense”, we did the same some incarnations back otherwise we would not be here now :-)!. Hence a certain concept can always only be of interest and use to a certain number of people. And those that you may feel are talking nonsense may proof that what you are claiming as THE truth may be equally wrong. It is dangerous to claim that one has found the ULTIMATE truth or METHOD of how to do something because truth for any human being is always subjective and filtered through their individual minds and this is exactly why so many people who channel, all channel a different truth. Sometimes it is argued that some channel “Higher beings” and some channel “Lower Beings” and therefore all those truths differ. This maybe so, but at the same time and maybe even more importantly, one’s truth is very much coloured by one`s own believes. We are quite reluctant to accept a truth if it does not correalte with our own “morals” and general believes. But how can we be sure that what be believe is really THE TRUTH is the ultimate truth? We assume it is because we “hear voices” or “thoughts are put into our minds” that make sense to us. But sometimes we are tested – tested by higher beings who may put those ideas into our minds to see if we realize that this is untruth. You see – it is not always the way one thinks it is and those higher beings often have a good sens e of humour and are having us on a little bit. I also feel that a lot of great people in the past must have connected with their Higher Selfes quite naturally and effortlessly without applying any rules but only by follwoing their passion, Think of Michelangelo, Beethoven, Einstein…..their arts and gifts where definitely heaven sent by their Higher Selfes or maybe even GOD directly! It is my believe that all we need to do in order to become part of the Golden age – is NOTHING! This may sound a littel too easy, but the Golden Age will come for all of us and nobpody needs to graduate in any subject to be part of it. We are all GODS just that some of us have not yet discovered this and do act a little different from GODLIKE behaviour, but all SOULS will be woken up regardless of what they do, have done, or ever will do. God loves each and all of us equally and unconditionally and he/she would never place any conditions on us in oder to enter the GOLDEN AGE. So we can all rest assured that nobody will be left behind in our still rather unpeacefull 3rd dimension :-). So lets all look forward to this wonderfull new BEGINNING and not worry about how to get there. GOD will take care of it – isn’t that a nice truth???

    Best wishes from sunny Germany
    Silke

    October 19, 2012
    • About your comment about the mentally handicapped: You’re assuming that when one mentally capable person fulfills their higher purpose, it doesn’t affect another. It affects everyone, including the mentally handicapped. My belief is that even if only 10% of the people on this planet fulfilled their higher purpose, it would make such a HUGE difference for everyone, mentally handicapped or not. It would create a different world, a Golden Age, even.

      You’re also assuming that everything has to be completed within this one lifetime, but humanity will keep evolving forever. What about the people who already passed, do they miss out on the Golden Age? No, they can reincarnate into a world that will be much more enlightened in the future–if enough mentally capable people get off their asses, I mean. Besides, how do you know the mentally handicapped aren’t fulfilling their higher purpose? Grasping a concept about the higher self and actually fulfilling one’s purpose by following one’s inner guidance are two different things.

      It seems you are applying concepts from Christianity and Catholicism to your ideas (you MUST believe this or that or else you will miss the Golden Age, you must believe Jesus will save you or else you will not go to heaven). But … to a certain extent this is true. If you don’t listen to your inner guidance you will not have the same types of experiences as someone who does, don’t you think?

      You are also assuming God is a being that places conditions upon you–or takes you completely off the hook–when in reality it is YOU who have challenged yourself to be one of the ones who help create the Golden Age. These are the people I’m writing to. If that’s not you, why read my blog?

      October 22, 2012
  5. Joshua said:

    Christine, I agree with you. It’s not so simple as visualizing what you want. I do believe thoughts are energy, but you can’t just lie down and visualize what you want tomorrow and it’s going to manifest. No, fortunately the universe doesn’t work that way. If it did, people would be manifesting whatever their thoughts desired, and I don’t know about you, but I have thought and even visualized some pretty silly things before!

    You make a great point in this article. Connecting with source is how to get happy. Why? Because when we do this we discover what were here for. The ancient Greek saying to “Know thyself” still rings true today.

    I wrote an article on my blog some months ago about why visualizing whatever you want doesn’t work the way people want it to in case anyone is interested.

    The Bible and Manifestation

    Blessings, Christine!

    October 19, 2012
    • Hi Joshua! Thanks for your comment, and for sharing your article. Yes, connecting to Source and completing what we’re here for is what will fulfill us. I have no doubt about this. Many Blessing to you, Christine

      October 22, 2012
  6. Silke said:

    Dear Christine,

    Do I detect a little annoyance in your response because I do not agree with all you are saying? So you are only writing to the people who help to create the Golden Age? HHHHMMMM that is a pity. Do you regard this group as a select circle? And you are assuming that I am not part of this GROUP as I disagree with you in some respects certainly not in all. In fact I do agree with a lot of what you are saying. The point I was trying to make is that whatever one believes is their personal truth and everybody has a right to speak their truth but one should never make the mistake to believe that one has found THE WAY ! This is my criticism. Because what you then create is FOLLOWERS and that is dangerous in my eyes. But that is a different matter. I do not want to explain my views any further but please let me correct yourself in a few assumptions you have made about my ideas. I do not belong to any Church, I have infact left the Church as I do not beleieve in any kind of organised religion. And I certainly never believed that you MUST do anything such as to follow in Jesus’ steps, although that would not be such a big mistake as he was pretty extraordinary to say the least. But as I said in one of my previous comments, many ways lead to Rome and that also applies to spiritual ways. Furthermore, I certainly do not believe that one only gets one chance, or one live to achieve whatever one is meant to achieve.The whole point of reincarnation is for each and all of us – for GOD’s creation – to become who we all really are in our essence and that is GOD. We are all GOD’s children in the becoming and some may be a bit furher on their way than others, but that does not make them better than others. We are all the same – you, me, your freinds, my friends and even our worst enemies. If you exclude anybody you do not understand GOD. And what has been channelled to you or through you may be the truth but it may not be the truth or the only or full truth although I know you are 100% sure that it is. Just remeber how long it took for us to dicover tthat the earth was not flat! Please consider that a lot of what has been channelled is not the absolute truth but an approximisation. i have read at least some 50 or so channeld books but to be honest very feww really convinced me. Of course there were parts in it that sounded plausible but mostly teher were also parts in it that werr nonsense. How many books have been channeld bout how we get what we want by what you describe does not work. So all those people must have channled nonsense and thsi may be so. So why do you assume that what you have “heard” is THE TRUTH? In my opinion the ultimate truth as I call it, i.e. is a truth that is not a personal subjective truth because this is what all our human truths are. The ultimate truth is something we are not supposed to know yet and it is GOD’s domain and only he/she knows it and this is the way it is meant to be. It is my personal view that we are all on our way to the Golden Age and it may well be the case that there are “wayshowers” and you may well be one of them. In fact I believe you are.

    Last but not least I do not believe that GOD is a being and certainly not a human being – that places conditions on any of us as you state about me. I don’t quite see where you got this idea from. But I figure beacuse I disagree with you I must have some weird ideas? I believe that GOD is the exact opposite – GOD is unconditional LOVE and this is the only reason why he/she does not interfere in the world because his/her LOVE is such, that he/she allows every single soul who has ever lived and will live to find their own way even if that means that great cruelties are committet in our world and I do not assume that GOD is immune to them.

    So do not try to guess or state what my ideas may be. That is not fair. My intention was not to invaildate yours because mine are not that different really, but to make you aware of the way you present them – as THE WAY.

    To repeat myself, there is only one way and it is GOD’s WAY and one day we will all know about it. Before then, we should be a little more modest about our own ideas however true they may seem to us. And believe me each and everbody blieves their own ideas are correct and true at least for the time being until we change them. So if you think locically – this would give us at least a few hundred thousand ways of what will or what will not happen and of what is right or wrong, although in latter ideas don’t differ that much anymore. Thank GOD – as we would say.

    OK point made.

    I wish you all the best, you are certainly on the right track in MY EYES, not sure what GOD thinks but I imagine he/she agrees. 🙂

    Regards
    Silke

    October 30, 2012
  7. Cedric said:

    If I may make a comment to both of you. There is no right and no wrong. People see the duality in this when they want their perspective to be understood. Bear in mind that duality is nothing but an illusion created as your tool to create yourself anew each day. So forget about who’s opinion counts or bears the most weight.

    According to my understanding, the Golden Age is a time of renewal of the human consciousness. Everyone benefits because we are all connected. It simply means that you have grown in your consciousness and thus allowed your soul to evolve at a rapid pace. Not everyone has chosen this evolution at this point in their soul lives and they will one day reincarnate into a realm that will assist them in their evolution. Old or new souls, it doesnt really matter. It is always what they soul has chosen to learn in a given time frame, which we call life. The bottom line is that all of us are connected and we will always be. The Golden Age will therefor benefit everyone who choose to reincarnate into this realm. Whether you are a paraplegic, deaf or blind, does not matter. What matters is that you discover your soul purpose while you are here. If you dont, you will give yourself another opportunity.

    October 30, 2012
  8. Silke said:

    Dear Christine,

    Do I detect a little annoyance in your response because I do not agree with all you are saying? 
    So you are only writing to the people who help to create the Golden Age?
    HHHHMMMM that is a pity. Do you regard this group as a select circle and that there is no point in me reading your blog if I don’t belong to this group? At least this is what you are saying to me.

    I disagree with you in some respects certainly not in all. In fact I do agree with quite a lot of what you are saying. The point I was trying to make is that whatever one believes is ones’ personal truth and everybody has a right to speak their personal truth but one should never make the mistake to believe that one has found THE WAY or THE TRUTH ! This is my criticism. Because what you then create is FOLLOWERS and NON-FOLLOWRES and that is dangerous in my eyes. I almost felt excluded from your group when you asked me “Why are you then reading my blog”. This to me sounded not very welcoming. If you knew me I would imagine we’d get on quite well …I am really not that far away from your ideas.

    However I must correct you in a few assumptions that you made about my ideas. I do not belong to any Church, I have in fact left the Church as I do not believe in any kind of organized religion. But I do not look down on people who are Christians or Catholics. I found your remark was a little condescending which hurt me because I was in fact born Catholic but that is ok for me. In the meantime I only follow my own believes, ideas and thoughts –to be precise I follow my HEART because I believe the HEART is the seat of GOD within all souls. I do understand the concept of the HIGHER SELF but for some reason it does not appeal to me all that much but the HIGHER SELLF may exist, I don’t know, I certainly never talked with mine. But I can accept that you talked to yours.

    Secondly I certainly never believed that one MUST do anything such as follow in Jesus’ steps, although that would not be such a big mistake as he was pretty extraordinary to say the least. But as I said in one of my previous comments, many ways lead to Rome and that also applies to spiritual ways or any way of life. A beggar’s life is worth no less than a Saint’s.

    Furthermore, I certainly do not believe that one only gets one chance, or one live to achieve whatever one is meant to achieve. The whole point of reincarnation is for each and all of us – for GOD’s creation – to become who we all really are GODLY. We are all GOD’s children in the becoming and some may be a bit further on their way than others, but that does not make them better than others. We are all the same – you, me, your friends, my friends and even our worst enemies. If you exclude anybody you do not understand GOD.

    And what has been channeled to you or through you may be the truth but it may not be the truth or the only or full truth although I feel you may believe this to be 100% TRUTH. We all know how long it took for us to discover that the earth is not flat! But who knows what will be discovered in a few months, years…TRUTH Is temporary and not absolute.

    Please consider that a lot of what has been channeled is not the absolute truth but an approximation. I have read at least 50 or more channeled books, but to be honest, very few really convinced me. Of course there were parts in them that sounded plausible, but mostly there were also parts in them that proved to be nonsense, although at first I mistook them for truth. I imagine it is very tempting to believe whatever one gets channeled. I do understand this.

    In my opinion the ULTIMATE truth as I call it, i.e. the truth that is non personal subjective truth, because this is what all of our human truths are, is GOD’s domain. The ultimate truth is something we are not supposed to know yet. It is my personal view that we are all on our way to the Golden Age and it may well be the case that there are “wayshowers” and you may well be one of them. In fact I believe you are.

    Last but not least I do not believe that GOD is a being, and certainly not a human being, that places conditions on any of us. I don’t quite see where you got this idea about me from? I do not have such strange but popular ideas. I believe that GOD is the exact opposite – GOD is unconditional LOVE and this is the only reason why he/she does not interfere in the world because his/her LOVE is such, that he/she allows every single soul who has ever lived and will live to find their own way HOME – home to GOD – even if that means that great cruelties are committed in our world to which GOD is not immune.
    GOD can cry although most of us would not believe this and GOD has shed may tears about us.

    My intention was not to invalidate your ideas because mine are not that different, but to make you aware of the way you present them – as THE WAY.

    To repeat myself, there is only one way and it is GOD’s WAY and one day we will all know about it. Before then, we should be a little more modest about our own ideas however true they may seem to us. All of us believe in our own ideas, that they are correct and true at least for the time being, until we change them. So if you think logically – this would give us at least a few hundred ways of what may or may not happen and of what is right or wrong, although with regards to the latter ideas don’t differ that much anymore. Thank GOD – as we would say.

    OK point made.

    Just one last comment which ma be of interest to you and your readers and which is very good news in my eyes.

    I once woke up around 5 am in morning, it must have been around 2004.

    I sat down and a poem “flew” through me or was “dictated to me” or “channeled through” me – it is called

    “The game of Live”.

    It ended as follows:

    “One day we will be Re-membered as He and She – She and He – Re-united with ALL THERE IS in LOVE till ETERNITY”.

    RE-membered here means put together again – the twin soul concept. GOD created all of us in PAIRS. Male and Female. This where the sayin “One’s Better Half originates from. ALL THERE IS – is naturally GOD. So whatvever we do, wether we connect with our HIGHR-, LOWER-, UPPER, LEFT-, or RIGHT-SELF or nobody This reunification with GOD will happen, because this is the story GOD wrote for us before he even created us.But I don’t want to say that it may not be good to connect with one’s HIGHER SELF if one can find it :-). Mine is somewhat hiding but insetad I found GOD, not that bad either I would think. Sorry, just a little joke. GOD loves to laugh and so do I, but I am not making fun of you. And how do I know all this will happen? ASK GOD, I am sure you will get an answer. How you do this? Quite simple, connect with YOUR HEART, God favourite hide-out! 🙂

    I wish you all the best, you are certainly on the right track in MY EYES, not sure what GOD thinks but I imagine he/she agrees. :-).

    My intention was well meaning not to slag you off! I hope you can accept this,

    Regards
    Silke

    October 30, 2012
  9. selina said:

    Christine, Again i agree with you and many thank’s for your insight that you share with us, Also you will know what i mean when i say Bimbam springs to my mind here, hahaha. Love and light always and i hope you are settling in your new home x

    October 30, 2012

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